To say it has been an emotional weekend since Thursday is an understatement. Fortunate for me I got the fabulous news that I had beaten cancer and I could call myself a survivor. It has been an incredible journey, the ups, the downs, the tears, the pain, the many trips to the hospital. The fear I had Thursday morning was indescribable, the walk to the consultant room was the longest journey of my life.
I began walking extra slow even though I felt like I was walking fast. My heart was pumping and the lump in my throat grew uncomfortably. When I finally reached my consultants room my cheeks shook as I said hello with a nervous smiled. She turned to me and said, “it’s good news there was no cancer found, it has gone.”
I took a deep breath and slumped my shoulder forward and I cried my eyes out (mum and Darren did too). Whilst trying to catch my breath I thanked my Dr. She saved me! Although, whilst I was receiving chemo I use to get very frustrated with my doctors because I was constantly in pain and couldn’t see how this was helping me, but now I am grateful! I shall return in another three months for a visual check-up.
So, now its over and I can continue with my life. Life will never be the same for me, I will forever think of this period in my life and be grateful for another chance. Taking things for granted is long gone and appreciating everything and everyone is one thing I have learnt to do. More importantly, I have swapped a lot of negative thinking for positive thoughts, as I feel having a positive view on things means you are half way to being where you want to be.
I’ve decided that I will end my blog today and put this nightmare to rest and hope I never have to revisit it again. I am truly thankful for Mum and Dad for always being great but especially to my mum who is extra strong and got me through the bad days. To my brother and Claire for being so helpful in times of need, to my work colleagues who didn’t bother me when I was off or made me feel rubbish about not being at work, but for actually encouraging me to get as much rest as I needed. Thank you to my friends who came to visit me when I was too ill to go out (and for those who visited me in hospital). To my cousins who made me smile when I felt I couldn’t do it no more and for always being there to listen. My whole family have been amazing! A massive thank you to the nurses on the chemo unit at Barts (Level 7) for being fantastic. Thank you for listening to me when I was in pain and being responsive. Thank you to all the charities The Little Princess Trust for the wig and to So Glam (Epping) for my micro rings, The Willow Foundation & Clic Sargent for providing me with days out and events that I could look forward to on my good days.
Last but not least to the other half of me, my strength, my shoulder, my love and my bestest friend Darren. You did every single chemo session with me, every appointment and always made sure I was confortable. You made me feel confident when my hair fell out and you never once doubted that I couldn’t fight it. When I threw a massive tantrum on the chemo before the last you told me I was going to stay and you helped me over the hurdle. You cleaning my sick, sat up with me during the painful nights and helped me get dressed when I had no strength. You are truly incredible and I love you dearly. There are not enough words to describe how lucky I am that I met you.
So, here is to the future and to another chapter of my life.
It has been amazing writing for you.
One last time thank you for reading and supporting.
16.03.16 – 15.09.16
I BEAT CANCER