It. The nightmare. The illness. The C word… Whatever you want to refer to my cancer as is slowly, but surly becoming more and more of a distant memory. My life is becoming more normal, pain free and a happier place to be. While I still await my scan I WILL continue as normal and refuse for ‘it’ to steal any more of my precious life.
I can’t believe it has been 4 weeks today since I started my rebuilding program it has surely been quite a journey, an emotional, tiring, challenging, but such a rewarding and happy one. The idea of the program was to regain what I had lost during treatment and to fight the fatigue. I didn’t want to tell anyone about my plans (not even Darren) I just wanted to wake up with a determined mind set, grit my teeth and crack on with a new challenge of getting back to me again and there was no better day to do that then the first day of August.
So, I went back to eating clean again, training 2-3 times a week (including a mixture of cardiovascular and strengthening sessions) and I returned back to work 1-2 times a week. Returning back to the gym at first was difficult. It felt like I was using another person’s body, but with my competitive thoughts. I had to consider my decrease in strength and be careful not to push myself too hard. However, I am seeing the difference and I have a lot more energy! Going back to work was quite nice, everybody is very supportive and always asks if I’m ok, if I ever need an early day they make sure I take it, but I tend to try and crack on with a full day – its boring at home!
Life is pretty much back to where it was before this awful nightmare happened, although I am a little paranoid about the odd niggle and keep checking for lumps. Last week I received my date for the PET scan – 12.09.16. Getting the letter made me feel a little nervous, Its made me struggle emotionally the last few days, even though I just get on with it you can never remove the fear and thoughts of the worst case scenario; my crazy family help to shift the negative thoughts.
I have also opted for the short hair look lately; the wig is so beautiful, but so hot in the warm weather. I follow lots of other ladies that have HL and they have the attitude of being open about the illness, why should I hide it? I am fighting one the biggest battle of my life. Today I noticed that I’m getting lots of stubbly bit on my head now – wahoo… it is finally growing back. The next few weeks will be busy for me I have family from Canada here at the moment, my birthday and then my scan and results day! I shall keep you all posted on the outcome of the scan.
Thank you for reading – the kind messages of support have helped me to get through!