Nobody could have prepared me for this

I have neglected the blog over the last week…since Monday I haven’t been too good. The codeine AGAIN binded me up and left me incredibly constipated to the point where I couldn’t stand straight. Monday I stayed home alone and struggled, thankfully mum has taken time off to care for me – thanks mum! Wednesday we called the hotline and after informing them of all the medication I had tried to help they advised us to take a trip to the hospital. After an x-ray and some more meds I went home.

The last week has been so difficult (I could not have done it with out my amazing mum and caring, supportive boyfriend). I have been incredibly tearful and feeling generally low. I have sudden outbursts of tears that go on for ages, and to top it my nose hairs have now fallen out, so it can become a bit of a snotty ordeal. Haha. 

My hair is falling out loads now, as much as I am being strong, it is killing me to know that soon I could possibly have no hair at all. I can’t bare to look in the mirror either, when I look through I see somebody who looks underweight and unwell and I feel like I’m in another world. 

Today my stomach is still very sore and uncomfortable I hope it starts to shift by the end of today – I’ve already had 3 baths this morning. Baths are soothing the discomfort and I feel more relaxed. 

Nobody could have prepared me for this journey! Back at the hospital on Wednesday to see my consultant and to start cycle two. I’m so grateful to all my family and friends that make sure I’m ok with kind words etc but I’m incredibly grateful to have my mum and boyfriend who have done everything they can to help me this week. 

Mum & Darren if you read this: I appreciate it, sorry for keeping you up through the night Darren and I’m sorry for making you run up and down the stairs mum! Thank you.